Party Jokes: Best Funny Alcohol Quotes

December is the time when everyone wants to enjoy and celebrate the holiday season.

Christmas and The New Year’s Eve are good enough reasons for everyone to start partying.

Here are some funny quotes that you can use to impress your friends.

“To all liquor lovers.”

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth

– George Burns


“I drink to make other people more interesting.”

― Ernest Hemingway


“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”

― Ernest Hemingway


I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on –

~Oscar Levant


“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

― Benjamin Franklin


I take a drink only on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not

~Brendan Behan


Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy!

~Frank Sinatra


“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.”

― F. Scott Fitzgerald


“Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go

To heal my heart and drown my woe

Rain may fall, and wind may blow

And many miles be still to go

But under a tall tree will I lie

And let the clouds go sailing by”

― J.R.R. Tolkien


“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
– Benjamin Franklin

“Wine is bottled poetry.”
– R L Stevenson

“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house unless they have a well-stocked bar.”

“If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer.”
– Clement Freud


“I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.”
– Brendan Behan

“Never cry over split milk. It could’ve been whiskey.”
– Pappy from Maverick

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me

~Winston Churchill


Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

-Kinky Friedman


Dear Alcohol,

We had a deal, you were going to make me funnier, sexier, more intelligent and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk



“She was the third beer. Not the first one, which the throat receives with almost tearful gratitude; nor the second, that confirms and extends the pleasure of the first. But the third, the one you drink because it’s there, because it can’t hurt, and because what difference does it make?”

― Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon


I used to think drinking was bad for me. So I gave up thinking.



I would date you, but my heart already belongs to Johnny Walker



Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver



You look like I need another drink!



I say NO to alcohol, but it just doesn’t listen!!



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